Saturday, December 31, 2011

Closing out 2011

What a year.

Pregnant for most of it. The hottest summer on record. One 9lb+ baby boy debuted. A few months off work. Vegas, Austin, and Santa Barbara for romance. Charleston and San Diego with girlfriends for fun. 3rd wedding anniversary celebrated. Starbucks IV drip for sleep deprivation needed. Mavericks were the champions, the Rangers broke our hearts and the Cowboys still suck. The Dallas ice storm Super Bowl. Friday Night Lights ended, but clear eyes, full hears can't lose. News of becoming an Aunt & Uncle again. The nephew turned 2. A Yukon was purchased, and then stolen. New plumbing, new garage doors, and new AC home improvements completed. (Did I mention it was the hottest summer on record?) Weekly housekeeper became required. In-n-out burger arrived. BSF was joined. My brother became a firefighter.

It was a prayerful, patient, joyful, and overwhelmingly blessed year. As Chris and I sit here watching the ball drop on TV bringing 2011 to a close we are thankful. Tomorrow will be the beginning of a new year with new challenges and surprises. Here we go...again.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A whole new Christmas

1 year ago we had just finished a round of in-vitro, and were anxiously waiting the results. After a long time of trying, drugs and injections, dr's appointments, and surgical procedures we were worried to even hope for good news. But it came, the week before Christmas the blood test looked good. Then the week of Christmas the numbers had doubled, a positive pregnancy test. Cautiously optimistic we moved thru the holidays. We had kept this journey a secret from almost everyone. Its hard to talk about what your heart hopes for but medical science can't explain. When you feel like your body won't do what it was designed to do, when you have to have conversations about the reality that kids might not be in your future, or the realization that God's plan and your own might not be the same? Last Christmas was special because Chris and I had hope for a baby, this Christmas is special because he's here.

At Christmas we celebrate receiving an undeserving gift in Jesus. This year Christmas morning will be just the 3 of us, in our little house, with our little dog and one additional, life changing gift. Every time I find myself exhausted, frustrated, or totally aware that that life as we once knew it is never returning I look at his sweet face and think someone created this little boy and gave him to me. He's all mine. So the feeling of frustration is fleeting because I am reminded that 1 year ago he was the gift we were hoping for.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Big Nate

My husband just said he looks like he has a pituitary problem in this picture. Giant baby born to normal couple. Really the little girl next to him, Kinley, is a very petite baby. She's also 8 days older, but you certainly wouldn't guess that.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Back to work

I've been off for 12 weeks and it's time to go back to work.

I love my child. I just think that I personally will be able to love him the best that I can if I also can work. Again this comes with judgement. I 've had such an amazing time being home with him, but I also learned that I am not designed to be a stay at home mom. People have some strong opinions on this. Especially the church contingent, but I like what I do and I'm not going to apologize for feeling a little free when I drop him off in someone else's loving care for the day. So there you have it.

My inbox had 645 unread messages, and 19 voice mail messages and I was a little thrilled to get to them. Now check back with me in 4 weeks after the "newness: has worn off and I would rather take a nap with a cuddly, smell delicious baby boy...but this week I am ready for it.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

He's here

3 days old (no we're not naked)

Born via c-section Nathaniel Thomas weighed in at 9.3lbs, and over 21 inches long. In non mom terms...a BIG baby. We didn't know the gender and when Chris said "It's a boy" we were both shocked at how much we had expected a girl. And a petite girl at that. Needless to say when my Dr peeked over the curtain and said "aren't you glad we went with the c-section" I was in total agreement. It was fast (10 min), and the recovery wasn't bad at all. The first 48 hours were a little brutal but I kept myself on a lot of drugs so I wouldn't feel it. We had a ton of visitors to the hospital, and I can't thank everyone enough for all the meals. It's been amazing. We are well loved and so grateful to each of you. I'm not quite sure how to pay it forward but I plan on trying.

He's 6 weeks old and it feels like both the longest and shortest 6 weeks of my life. It's true, no one can prepare you for this. The joy, the sleep loss, the helpless feeling when they're crying, the comedic moments, the short tempers (because of the sleep loss) WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BOOBS! Seriously...if you're on the fence about kids take a good look at your tata's and enjoy them. Babies change them forever, and not in a hot/sexy way. However I take one look at this piglet and know he's worth it. That and I live in the land of boob augmentation so hey, I have options.

5 weeks old

I feel like I'm not qualified to be 100% responsible for a little human, but am working hard at it. I've learned that people will judge that I'm going back to work, and compare kids and milestones, and that in order to be on time to anything we have to start an hour earlier than we used to. I live in yoga pants and tank tops, and have the smell of baby spit up on me regularly. I will never eat a warm meal, and sometimes forget to eat completely, and even though baby weight might be will never fit the same. I have also learned that I never knew I could love something so much, stare at something for so long, and kiss something as often as I do this little man.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

It's time

Today is b-day. To say it feels surreal would be an understatement. We're excited, anxious, and as ready as we're going to be. Pregnancy has been an adventure, and for the most part it's been calm and easy. It got a little more exciting in the last month, but hey...I gave up control a long time ago, and just accepted the fact that I'm going to roll with whatever. Chris and I have grown closer and laugh daily thru it all, and I can't believe how lucky I feel to get to add someone to the mix. It's going to rock our reality, and I can't think of anything we've wanted more. It's an answer to lots of prayer, and I can't wait to meet baby G.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It's hot!

June is here, summer is upon us and we've already had several days in the 100 degree category. Bleh. Why God decided I should be pregnant for the entire summer I will never know. I am not a fan.

We have been spending as much time as possible with this guy, who will be 2 next month.

Someone also felt like the baby needed a bigger car to haul it's crap around. Have you ever seen anyone happier?

I'm trying to stay comfortable and have about 8 weeks until this kiddo hopefully decides to join us. This is a pic of the crib/bassinet and a little something we put on the wall. It's much more finished now, but I don't have any pics that really capture the room.

Charleston, SC

May was also a Memorial Weekend Girls trip to Charleston, SC. I wasn't in charge of the camera, and I'm not even sure I want to allow pics at that point forward in the pregnancy. No one really needs to see that.

Jen, Elizabeth, Barbie and I went South for some food that was to die for, the men still wear bow ties at lunch, and seersucker is everywhere. It literally looked like a JCrew/Brooks Brothers catalog. Of course we went on the busiest weekend of the year, and had no idea. When the bartender told us the first night we would be lucky to get reservations I was on faster than you know. That little app saved us and we ate very well.

We LOVED it. The houses, plantations, food, shopping, horse drawn carriage rides, and even rocking on the porch of a beach house we crashed one night (we were invited). It was the last girls trip for me as a non mom, so I tried to max it out. Swelling and discomfort be dammed. Of course we already have the trip for next year on the books, but this one I will always remember.

Jen/Elizabeth. Posting pics from this adventure is all on you :)

Showered Baby

May was also my baby shower. I still can’t quite put into words how beautiful and special it was. 6 hostesses can be a lot, but Allison was in charge, and made it look so easy. It also helps when in general my friends are pretty much the best.

It happened to be the only nice weather Saturday we’ve had in a while, so we totally lucked out. It was in the backyard at Helen’s house, and was bird themed with nests, and birds and the colors were Grey, Yellow and White. The details were so amazing and it looked like Martha Stuart had planned it herself.

I’m so awkward at these things, I like parties but not when I'm the one being stared at, so I was a little anxious. All of Chris’ family came, and my Aunt Marty flew in from CA, my mom was here, and so many special local friends. The gifts were overly generous, and luckily because so many of them are moms, also practical. When it was over I wished I had stood up and said something to everyone but I just was overwhelmed and didn’t at the time. So if you were there, and are reading this…this is for you.

THANK YOU. All of you are a special part of this journey, and it hasn’t been easy. I feel so blessed to call you all friends (and family) and know that this baby will be loved beyond measure. Chris’s mom said that excited is too small a word to describe how she feels about this baby, and I just feel so lucky. Thank you Allison for killing yourself over this party, it was more beautiful than I could have imagined. Thank you to Jen, Christine, Heather, Erin’s G and N, and Helen for hosting. Thank you Elizabeth for the cooking lessons for Jenn and the recipes.

Santa Barbara

In early May we took a birthday trip to Santa Barbara, CA. It was amazing. Perfect weather, lots of relaxing, and extra fun because Rob and Allison came along. I won't even tell you about the hotel hook up because it was ridiculous.

We were able to go to the Santa Barbara Mission, The Reagan Library, and did lots of eating and shopping. Some people might have done more drinking. Alas I was the driver. We saw a lot of celebs, drove by Oprah’s house, enjoyed coffee bean and tea leaf blended drinks, and listened to the ocean from our patio. When it’s 78 with 0% humidity it’s hard to ever want to leave. It was a blissful.

The man himself

The view, from the hanger with Air Force One. Yes, an entire plan fits in this glass house, and you can tour it.

Santa Barbara Harbor

So many things, so little time

It's been a while since April! I am terrible at this blog thing, and have been for a while. Actaully lots of us are. It just isn't as easy or fun as it used to be. It's blocked at work, and finding the time to do it at home, load pics's just not a priority.

I'm going to do a few small posts to get caught up, and then we'll see.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011


We added some new goodies to the patio in the way of furniture, and a fire pit etc. We did this just in time for the insane storm that came thru this week, but I'm looking forward to sitting outside in the evening on the sofa and making s'mores.

Girl Time

I just got back from a very relaxing trip to San Diego. It was about time for some sunshine and a visit with Val, mixed in with a work conference, ended with some spa time with my momma.

Something has to be said for the kind of friendship that can just be still. Some of the best time Val and I spend is sitting outside in the sun reading magazines and listening to Adele, or walking on the boardwalk. I miss her, and it was so nice to have days to just do the things we like to do. Eat. Shop. People watch and catch some beach sunsets. We've been thru a lot, that girl and I.

My mom came down at the end of my trip. She hadn't seen me in person pregnant yet and it was killing her. It was good timing because the belly popped literally the day I left for the trip. She will tell you that I'm a mean child because I banished her to the other room in the hotel. The snoring was RIDICULOUS. She treated me to a day at La Costa Spa and Resort along with a prenatal massage. It was so good I almost cried.

I left pampered, tanned, and with the need for an additional suitcase because of the shopping damage that occurred.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Feeling Old

This past weekend my baby brother turned 30....30! I just can't even picture him as 30. I feel like I'm barely 30 but I can't live in denial about that if he's now caught up to me. He spent the day with his family, cooked on his new grill for dinner, and enjoyed the weekend.
I remember when he was born. I was 4, and of course had to be another mother. I've watched him, sometimes hovered, sometimes bossed, sometimes shared a broken heart and some the best moments in life are with him. I called him BEFORE my mom when I found out I was pregnant (after Chris of course). Living an hour away still seems far at times, but it's close enough that I try not to miss any of the big things. I know that we will always be close, that our kids will be pals, and that I can't imagine growing up, growing old, or laughing at my parents without him. Happy birthday brother.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What's in a name?

As promised, here is the 19 week pic. Halfway thru this thing (in a few days) and the Dr said the baby looks perfect. We aren't finding out the gender, or telling anyone our name choices. This has led to an almost weekly call from any one of the 6 grandparents, or my brother with "helpful" suggestions. Rob is hoping it's a boy and that we'll name him Argyle. As in the pattern. My dad suggested Gertrude, or Gertie Gaines for a girl. Chris' dad called tonight to give us Elvira and Thor as options. I'll just say this. It will be a common, normal, traditional name spelled the way that the first person who guessed would be right. I don't feel the need to be unique or creative. As a recruiter I think that parents have ruined their child's chances at jobs based on name alone. My friend Christy told a story about her mother in law who's a teacher. She had a first grader with the name La-a. She called out the last name cautiously, and was told by the little girl "it's La DASH A...that dash ain't silent". Not kidding.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011


Such a big thing in such a small word. I tried to think of clever titles for this post. Some were funny, some were slightly vulgar...none seemed to fit. The reason is because we needed hope, it was a season of doubt...of sadness, of really having some hard conversations, some major medical procedures, months and months of drugs, and praying. Lot's and lots of praying. Thru it all we always had hope, hope that God had a plan, and that we would put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

We're having a baby. Due in Aug. It is still so amazing to me that this prayer was answered that it hasn't quite hit me yet. It took 4 sonograms for me to actually believe the Dr. We kept the entire last year plus of our life quiet as we struggled with this, so it seems odd to share it now, and to be expected to share it so freely. It still feels like a secret, and people seem surprised that I kept one! Ha. There is a lot to this story but this seems like enough for now. Please excuse the sono was the first one from week 7. I'm at 16 weeks now and I'll try to post another one soon. However I'm not one of these "all I can talk about is my pregnancy, what fruit it is, what week it is, tell you how I'm feeling" pregnant people. If you ask me, I will tell you I feel fine. That's about it, and that's how I roll.